Are you new to the swinging lifestyle? Never been to a real swinger club, but want to make sure you’re a hit at the party? Well, here is a Swinger’s Style Guide just for the ladies!

You’re Beautiful!

Feeling great about yourself is important for swingers! I have my husband to thank for making me feel as beautiful and as confident as I do. He has always complimented me and he’s been very supportive over our thirteen years of marriage, but he really gave it a boost just before we became involved in the swinging lifestyle.

For my birthday, his theme was “You’re Beautiful.” He made me a birthday card by hand, and put two Visa gift cards inside. One was for buying new clothes for everyday use, but the other one was specifically for clothing that I couldn’t wear in front of his parents. I have always been pretty conservative in the clothing department, so this was really fun! I got a manicure, pedicure and my hair done too. He even got my sister in on my beautification. She bought me a membership to the tanning salon.

It was a wonderful birthday and really boosted my self-esteem. He made me feel like a truly beautiful woman. I don’t mean to say that material things alone make a person beautiful… But they sure do make you feel good!

So do something for yourself that makes you feel like a beautiful woman. Or better yet: Guys, tell your girl how beautiful she is, and do something special for her!

What to wear? What to wear?
If you’re anything like me, your first time going to a real swinger club will probably be a little nerve-racking. I had no idea what to expect or what to wear. I settled on some sexy jeans, a cute shirt and high-heeled sandals. I can’t remember if that lifestyle club had a theme on my first night. But honestly, we probably made a bigger deal out of the clothing issue than anyone else. Even though I was dressed fairly conservatively, especially when compared to many of the girls at the club, I still received plenty of attention and made a lot of new friends!

My advice to other women is to wear whatever makes you comfortable. But don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone just a little bit to help bring out the “sexy” in you! Many women wear jeans to clubs on a regular basis. If you feel comfortable wearing something more risque, go for it! The way I see it, most skimpy swingers club attire is not much different from wearing a bikini or bathing suit in public. If you’re not sure what to wear to a club, opt for the more conservative version, but remember that you can take a change of clothes with you. You can always change at the club.

By our second trip to the club, I was feeling a little more outgoing. I shopped and shopped for the perfect sexy outfit. I finally found one that was both comfortable and flattering (One size does not fit all!). After a few drinks and a little coaxing, I changed at the club, and the rest is history. Eventually I invested in a trench coat which allowed me to dress at home.

If you’re wearing a revealing outfit, then a calf-length trench coat is a necessity! – Especially if you have kids at home, or particularly nosey neighbors. Otherwise, sneaking out of the house to head out to the club can be a little tricky.

Scent-Sational!
Have you ever been walking down the street and had a scent trigger an old memory? Have you smelled someone’s perfume or cologne and were reminded of your first love?

There’s actually a name for that phenomenon. It’s called the “Proust Effect,” which is the strong link between smells and emotion.

So what do smells have to do with your swinging lifestyle?

Well, when my husband and I first entered the lifestyle, we began searching for a scent that would stimulate sexy memories and excite us on a primal level. We posted questions on several blogs and received numerous tips on various body-washes, lotions and all sorts of foo-foo stuff. We finally found a scent that really turns him on – Euphoria, by Calvin Klein. I only wear it when we go to lifestyle events and it drives my husband crazy every time! Although the scent might not trigger the same primal response in me, I have to admit, seeing his reaction definitely makes me feel sexy.

It truly is amazing how powerful the human olfactory sense is, and how closely related it is to our emotional response. Try it – Next time you attend a lifestyle event (or any event where you’d like to feel extra sexy), wear a scent that you don’t normally wear. From then on, any time you wear that particular smell, it will bring back all sorts of fantastic sexy memories. Your subconscious will get your hormones raging!

Considering a Brazilian Bikini Wax?
The first time you see a room full of pants come off in a lifestyle situation, you’re likely to notice something missing… Hair! When it comes to their nether-regions, the trend for women in the swinger’s lifestyle (and most men too!) is to emulate the grooming habits of the porn industry.

So, if you’re considering a Brazillian Bikini Wax, my advice is – Go for it!

Until about 2 years ago, the only thing I shaved was my bikini line. I’ve since come into the modern days of the Brazillian wax. It’s all gone and I love it! I’m not an expert, but I wanted to share my experience, because I had no idea what to expect the first time!

I chose to go to a day spa my first time, rather than a hair salon. It was a little more expensive, but I just love the atmosphere of day spas. I find them so much more relaxing. I scheduled an appointment for a Brazilian wax. You have to let the hair grow out at least 1/4 inch for the wax to be able to remove it, so keep this in mind when scheduling an appointment.

The esthetician was very friendly, and made me feel as comfortable as possible. Her instructions on how she wanted me to position my legs were very clear, and she let me know everything she was doing.

Be prepared to answer these questions before you have your Brazillian wax:

1)	How much hair do you want to take off or leave? You can leave a strip, a triangle, or remove it all. My esthetician said she once left a heart shape for one customer as a surprise for her husband on Valentine’s Day.
2)	Do you want your butt waxed too? I know this sounds a little strange and it caught me off guard, but I went for it! It is not nearly as painful as the front. Plus, if you’re someone who likes to show off your thong at lifestyle events, it pays to be well groomed all around.

 

As for the pain? On a scale of 1 to 10, the first time was probably a 7. However, if you keep it up, the hair removal becomes a little easier. Your pubic area may also be tender for a day or two, so if you’re planning to do it for a special occasion, plan accordingly and in advance.

The only bad thing about waxing is that you have to let the hair grow for about 4 weeks between appointments. If you wait too long, it’s like starting all over again!

What about laser hair removal? My esthetician says that laser hair removal is not effective for everyone. It works better on lighter skinned people with dark hair. If your skin is too dark, or your hair is too light, then laser is not an option. But most of my light skinned, dark haired friends swear by it!

As I said before, I am not an expert, but if you’re not a candidate for laser (or simply don’t like the thought of your crotch being attacked by sci-fi weaponry), then I definitely recommend waxing.

It sure beats razor burn!