Dear Kasidie,
I would love to see my girlfriend with another woman, but she says that she’s not at all interested in girls. How do I get my girlfriend to become bisexual?
Sincerely,
Dear Girl Lover,
Oh, that’s easy! Simply figure out what your girlfriend would have to do in order to make YOU become bisexual. Think about what magic words your girlfriend would have to say in order to make you crave some hot man-on-man action. Then simply use the same method on her! Or better yet, you should go out and get banged by some sweaty man-meat, then come home and tell her about how great it is being bisexual. That’s sure to work!
Hopefully you’ve picked up on my sarcasm by now… If not… Well, that doesn’t really surprise me.
Listen up, knucklehead! If she’s not into girls, that’s the end of it. You can’t force someone’s sexual preferences. You’ve already done the very most you can do, which is letting her know that the idea of seeing her with another woman is a fantasy of yours. Now that she knows that, she can choose to do what she wants. Who knows?… Maybe she’ll think about it, change her mind and surprise you some day… Or maybe she won’t.
One thing is for certain… If you try to push, trick, manipulate, cajole, or hornswoggle your girlfriend into doing something that she is clearly uncomfortable with, you will go from being a GirlLover to a Girl Loser.
Dear Kasidie,
We recently attended a party at a close friend’s home. It would have been a great party, except for one problem. There was a couple there who we’d never met before who was making us uncomfortable. They were beyond pushy and forward. They came up to us and started touching us before they’d even introduced themselves. The male seemed to be following me around all night, staring at me and making me feel uncomfortable. And the female presumptuously tried to jump in on the action when my husband was engaged with another girl. They made us so uncomfortable that we ended up leaving the party early. At least two other guests we spoke to also left because of this couple.
We really like the people who threw the party, but we’re hesitant to go their next one for fear that that creepy couple would be there again. What should we do?
Dear Creeped Out Couple,
This type of situation has happened (or will probably happen) to most of us in the lifestyle at one point or another.
I always think back to a public service announcement that I saw when I was young. It taught me to use the “No-Go-Tell” system when a person touches me inappropriately. The same basic principles apply to swingers at a party.
If someone is touching you in a way that is making you feel uncomfortable, politely let them know it’s not ok [No]. Chances are they were totally oblivious to it. Put some distance between you and them [Go]. If they still won’t leave you alone, find the host of the party and let them know what is going on [Tell].
Any time you are at a lifestyle party, whether it is a small house party or a huge lifestyle event, the host of the party is responsible for the comfort of their guests. Discreetly letting the host know that one of their guests is being inappropriate is actually the best way to deal with the situation without causing undue awkwardness or tension. The host should go and talk to the offending person and may even ask them to leave.
It sounds to me like you were not the only people troubled by this couple. Although that particular party is over, I recommend you contact the hosts and tell them your concerns about those particular guests. If a host receives several complaints about the same guests, chances are they won’t be inviting them to their next party.
