Taking one for the team: The act of someone willingly making a sacrifice for the benefit of others.

The first time I heard the term “taking one for the team,” it was when my son was playing little league baseball. It meant allowing yourself to get hit with a pitch in order to get on base and help you win a ballgame. His coach just loved to teach his (our) kids to crowd the plate and lean into the pitch. In that age group, the pitchers were throwing for the first time (the year before, the coaches pitched to the kids) and they weren’t very accurate. You could count on a lot of wild pitches and a lot of free bases on hit batters.

I remember our son leaning in and getting hit with at least 5 or 6 pitches that Fall. Every time he was hit, I would close my eyes and hope he’d be O.K. and try to think pleasant thoughts. He never got seriously hurt, but I finally had a talk with him and told him, “I don’t care what your coach says; you don’t try to get hit with the ball. You swing away and if you strike out, then you strike out. Better to try and fail then get a bruised elbow” (or shin or head)!

“Taking one for the team” means an entirely different thing in the “swinging” community.

I remember when my husband and I first ventured into the Lifestyle… it was a local hotel social about 30 minutes from our house. We would go and meet other couples from the area, and a few visiting from out of state, and we would dance and flirt throughout the night. It took us 4 or 5 times before we “hooked up” with our first swinging couple.

They were our age (I was 26 and Bill was 30) and they were both very attractive. We didn’t take long to get to know each other before we were back in our room, experiencing our first foursome. Those were the days! We had a lot of luck at this social until it finally closed a little over 10 years later. We tried the internet and a couple of other swinger clubs with a varying amount of success.

It’s amazing what 15 years, 2 kids and about 18lbs (O.K., maybe 26) will do for you when you are looking for new playmates. Let’s just say that our days of showing up, talking for 10 minutes, then heading to our room, rarely happens anymore. I still love my husband very much and if we don’t play as much as before, well, that’s O.K. with me.

So here we are at a new, on-premise swinger club in town one night and we are checking out the crowd. We say hello to a couple of friends that we know and catch up on everything since the last time we saw them and we are introduced to a few new couples. I’ve got my eye on one or two possible connections when my husband comes back from the bar with one of the sexiest women I have seen in a while. “Honey, I’d like you to meet Linda,” he says and we shake hands (Isn’t it funny how we introduce each other to potential lovers and then shake their hands? “Hi! My name is Karen, wanna fuck?”). She sits down at our table and we talk for a little while and I can see that my husband is very interested in Miss Linda (who wouldn’t be!). She is a stunning blonde, about 30 years old and every eye in the club is busy checking her out.

We are waiting for Linda’s husband to arrive when Bill leans over and says, “Do you want to go in the back?” (That’s where the playrooms are). I tell him that it would be nice to meet the husband first and we can talk about it then. I could tell he was disappointed but, come on; I have to see the other half.

Finally Linda’s husband arrives and introduces himself. Wow, this was not what I expected. Jim had to be pushing 60. He wasn’t shy and immediately wrapped his arms around me to give me the biggest hug I have experienced in years, literally picking me up off of my feet. (Big) Jim was so excited to meet me and asked me right out, “What do you think about my wife Linda? She’s some hottie isn’t she?” He went on about what a steal he got, and bragged that it only cost him a million dollars. “Oh, stop it Jim,” she laughed, and they hooted and hollered, showing me her (huge) diamond ring, new (expensive) necklace and (even more expensive) bracelet. They went on and on, but by this time I had lost interest and was nodding, “Uh, huh… uh, huh…” as I was scanning the room, hoping to find another couple that might better suit us.

Then he said it. It came right out of left field,
“Can’t you ‘take one for the team’ just this once?”

My husband leaned over again and asked me, “So, what about heading to the back room now?” What, I thought, with these two? I don’t think so! But I didn’t know how to say anything without them hearing me or figuring out that I wasn’t interested. So I asked Bill to get me one more drink at the bar and shortly after he left, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I quickly caught up with him and gave him the quick, “Are you crazy?” speech hoping that we could now move on in our quest to resuscitate the evening and find a compatible couple.

He was still stuck on Linda, “Come on, baby, Jim isn’t THAT bad” (note to anyone reading this: if you ever say that a potential sexual partner isn’t “THAT bad,” they probably are). I understood why he liked her, but this is a package deal. Then he said it. It came right out of left field, “Can’t you take one for the team just this once?” I felt like I just got beaned with a fast ball. On the funny bone. And it wasn’t funny.

I couldn’t believe he was even asking me this and I really couldn’t believe that I was replaying “Big Jim” over in my mind to try to determine if he really wasn’t that bad. I mean, my first thought was that he was too old. But I would fuck Sean Connery and he is older than Big Jim. I really didn’t like his bragging about money, the jewelry and so on, but I wouldn’t be having sex with his money. He wasn’t the most attractive man, but he wasn’t hideous… wait a second, what am I doing here? Why was I even thinking about this? Because I love Bill and he has done so many things for me throughout our lives (we’ve been together for 22 wonderful years) and he really liked this Linda.

“O.K., I will do it,” I told him, “but let’s get this over with quick” (before I changed my mind). “And you owe me big, mister!” We went back to our table and after some more small talk, we headed to the back rooms. We got a locker and “dressed down” (the club had a “no street clothes in the back rooms” rule) and then I picked a private room so no one would be watching us. Bill was all over Linda before I could get the door closed. I had hoped to get a little play time with Linda myself, but Bill forgot I was in the room and was in his own little world. That left me and Jim.

Never, and I mean never, tell someone who just “took one for the team” that the reason for them getting “beaned” just “wasn’t that good” after all…

He gave me another one of his patented bear hugs and I was once again up off the ground and heading for the bed. He plunked me down and climbed on top of me with his big grin. For the first time I noticed a big green “something” stuck in his teeth. It was probably from a salad or some greens he had ate before, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. “Hi Big Jim, what’s that you got there? A big ol’ piece of sod between yer teeth?” I thought to myself. I sure hope Bill is appreciating this.

My mind fluttered back to my son’s baseball years and I closed my eyes once again. I didn’t want to see another “plunking” and I couldn’t bear to watch that green meadow in Jim’s grin any longer. I can’t remember how long our “encounter” lasted, but in dog years it was at least a week. In the end, my beloved Bill told me, “Ah, it wasn’t that good” on the way home (Note to all: never, and I mean never, tell someone just after they “took one for the team” that the reason for them getting “beaned” just “wasn’t that good” after all).

We didn’t talk about that night much, but about three months later, at that very same club, we came full circle. There is one particular woman that Bill has never liked, named Ruth, who is a regular at the club. “She lacks couth,” he always said, whatever that meant. I always thought her husband, Richard, was attractive, but I never “went there” because Bill just can’t stand her. Well tonight, turn around was fair play, and I sat at the bar next to them and chatted them up. I’m not sure if I did this out of revenge or not; I kept reminding myself that I had always been attracted to this man. Why couldn’t I have a night of fun and why couldn’t Bill “take one for the team?” I was on a mission.

After a few drinks, I leaned over to Bill and whispered, “Hey, why don’t we all head to the back room.” You should have seen the look on Bill’s face. It was priceless. At first, he thought I was kidding. But when he saw the way I was rubbing Richard’s leg, and already had him visibly aroused, he knew I meant business. “Not them,” he wined back, “not here.” I rubbed away and whispered back, “It’s the bottom of the ninth, two outs, we’re down one and the bases are loaded… ”

I didn’t have to say anything else. I could see his eyes go from shock, to defiance, and finally surrender. He knew that I had given up more (Ruth wasn’t bad looking, he just didn’t like her personality) for less (Linda was a one night stranger that “wasn’t that good,” while Richard was someone he knew I had wanted for a long time). That time was now. It’s his turn up to bat; that’s how you play the game.

We went to the locker room and I heard Ruth say to Bill, “I never knew you guys were interested in us. I can’t believe we are doing this after knowing each other so long.” Bill smiled and nodded and took his time getting undressed. As soon as we got into the back room I jumped on Richard and we didn’t stop for over an hour. Poor Bill lasted quite a long time too because he was having a hard time getting hard, let alone having an orgasm. “What’s the matter,” I heard Ruth ask, “Is everything O.K?” That made me ride Richard harder and harder and eventually Bill got everything together and even managed to have an orgasm with Ruth. That was more than I could muster with “Big Jim.”

Afterwards, Bill asked, “So, how was Richard?” “He was great,” I told him, “thanks for going along and helping me fulfill such a great fantasy!” We never did “party” again with Ruth and Richard. I think they never approached us again because Bill had such a hard time getting it up. That was fine with me (and very fine with Bill) because all I wanted was for Bill to see what it was like to “take one for the team.” It’s not that fun, even if you are bringing home the winning run. Winning isn’t everything, but being part of a great team is.