As a couple new to the online swinging scene, your profile picture will play a very important role in the amount of condoms you purchase in your lifestyle career.

Several years ago, my wife and I were trying to sell a vehicle. We had the vehicle listed in the local paper for over a month and had less than five phone calls, none of them serious buyers. The ad had expired and I was calling the newspaper to extend it a few more days when I decided to add something. I merely added the following statement to the top of the ad.

“Desperate, must sell immediately! Will consider all offers!”

I also removed the asking price from the ad and figured I would take what I could get. Funny thing was, we were virtually inundated with phone calls and I sold the car within a couple of days for the exact amount I had been asking for over the entire month.

The point of this story is not to use the word desperate in your profile, but to illustrate how merely giving my ad the right presentation gave me enough of an audience to find the right buyer for my car. Having old, grainy, and sloppy pics on your profile may limit the number of couples who consider you.

This phenomenon has nothing to do with shallow personalities or rude people (who you’d probably want nothing to do with anyway). There are literally hundreds of thousands of people with profiles on every swinger site across the net… In other words, you are not the only fish in the swinging pond. You may have the greatest profile in human history, but if you have a picture that looks like a Sasquatch humping a billy goat as your initial pic, you probably won’t find many couples taking the time to read your profile.

I apologize for any of you Sasquatch look-alikes out there, as the above comment is not referring to your overall attractiveness but more toward the presentation. No matter how beautiful or unattractive you feel you are, sloppy, impromptu, cell phone pics are not going to advance Bigfoot’s chances of getting busy. I am not saying funny, crazy or cheesy pics should not be on your profile, just be sure you have plenty of quality pics to let people see the real you.

Let us look at some major DO NOTS concerning your profile pics. These are things that tend to raise a red flag and cause couples to move on to the next profile.

1. Do not post only photos of one half of the couple. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve seen couples profiles which only have photos of the women. Unless you are a couple only interested in girl/girl play, it’s a good idea to show off the male as well. Sure, the woman is usually the more photogenic half of the couple, but if the male is mysteriously missing from all the profile photos, many people will assume that he must look like Quasimodo.


This is NOT a good background for your photo.

2. Do not have dirty laundry or dishes in the background. Keep in mind, you are trying to convince people to sleep with you or perform other intimate activities. If you can’t bother to clean your house, many couples may be a little worried about your other personal hygiene habits.
3. Do not use cell phone pictures or other low quality images. The problem with grainy images is they really don’t do anything. Often it is hard to get a sense of what a person really looks like. It makes us wonder are they trying to hide something? Surely somewhere someone has taken a picture of you with a real camera, right?
4. Do not post excessive pictures of your genitalia. It’s fine to post some sexy nude photos on your profile. But is there really any point to posting a half dozen super close-up shots of your genitals? I think that most people will already assume that you have a cock and pussy between you… They don’t really need proof.
5. Do not use scanned polaroids. Polaroids? Seriously? Is that really the very best camera you own? Unless you are living in the 1980’s, there is really no excuse for this. invest in a digital camera. Even the cheapest digital camera will take better photos than a polaroid. If you want to show some of your favorite pics from earlier years that is fine, just be sure you have some current ones as well.
6. Do not only use pics from another decade. You should have at least a few pics from sometime in the last 12 months or so and I even will date a few of them in caption so people know how old they are. Maybe you’ve gained a few pounds recently, so you chose to post a photo from your days on the olympic swim team, hoping that it will land you more responses… If you ever meet these people, they are going to realize you have lied to them. Most likely you will end up embarrassed and not only lose a chance of playing with that couple, but probably make a lot of enemies along the way.
7. Do not post pictures with kids in them! YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE A PICTURE ON AN ADULT WEBSITE THAT HAS CHILDREN IN IT. Whether their faces are blacked out or not, this is always a major no-no! Most people will probably report your profile to the webmaster who may suspend your account or worse.

Now that we have gotten a few of the DO NOTS out of the way, lets make this a more positive discussion on how to create some new SEXY pics of you and your spouse for your profile.

Have Fun!
When you decide to do a photo shoot, make an entire night of it. Send the kids off to the sitter’s and set up the shoot in the house or at a fun location where you can be totally relaxed and not hurried. Buy a nice bottle of wine and have some of your favorite music playing in the background. Very rarely do we have a photo shoot that is not interrupted by some very hot sex at some point. If you are relaxed, happy, and excited it will show in your photos!

Let There Be Light!
One of the first tips you will read on any photography web site is to use more light when taking your portraits. The flash that comes with a camera is adequate for most candid photos, but for good quality portraits usually more light is needed. Go to Lowes or Home Depot and purchase some simple construction lights that are relatively inexpensive. Don’t ever aim these powerful lights directly at the subject or you will end up with some very harsh shadows and bright spots. Instead, bounce the lights off the ceiling and the walls around the subject. This will help diffuse the light and remove shadows. If you have lots of big windows in your home, try taking your photos during the day with lots of natural sunlight.

Take Pictures Until Your Fingers Bleed!
Congratulations World, we have entered the digital age! This means there is no extra cost associated with how many pictures you take, and erasing is simple. Take multiple pictures of every pose you decide to do, or just keep on taking the pictures while letting your sexy subject pose however she wants. Some professionals take hundreds of pictures in order to get that one perfect shot. If you end up with a hundred or more photos… who cares? Statistically, your chance of having one or two great photos among them is really high. So snap-snap-snap-snap away!

Use Photo Editing Software!
While we are absolutely against doctoring your photos to trim a few pounds or hide the unibrow across your head, we have no problem with using software to crop pictures or adjust the tint and color. Many times when taking a photo, you may have a really great shot where some part of it did not turn out right. Maybe the cat was running through the shot, or the way you were sitting makes your butt look awkward. There is nothing wrong with cropping a photo to maximize its appearance. Editing software will also allow you to do some really neat things like using black and white. Other effects may be blurring, glow effects, graininess, etc…

Props and Backgrounds!
We have a lot of fun setting up our photo shoots. Usually the day before a shoot we will head to WalMart, Lowes, Party City, or an adult novelty store looking for props and sexy outfits. We tend to splurge and will sometimes spend over a hundred dollars or more buying lots of little things to make the shoots fun. While that may be a little much for some tastes, you can do a lot with just a little bit of money as well. Props are especially great if you are doing theme shoots for an upcoming holiday like Halloween or Christmas. Think of all the fun you could have with costumes, cauldrons or giant candy canes.

Quit Worrying About How You Think You Look! 
At some point during a photo shoot Mrs. Nibbler will inevitably tell me, “This pose looks stupid”, or “Sitting like that will make me look fat.” I always have to remind her to relax, since we can delete any photos she does not like. Often when we are done, the pose she would hate turns out to be one of our favorite pictures. So experiment to your heart’s content. The only people who are going to see the bad pics are you and your spouse.

Pose Like a Star!
When taking the picture push your chin towards the camera. Moving your face forward helps the face frame better on the body, without the skin from your neck giving the appearance of a double chin or fatter face than you actually have. Have good exaggerated posture when you are sitting or standing in a pose. Chest up, shoulders straight, and suck in. Taking a good deep breath during the picture will help you do this. No matter what kind of shape you are in, you will be surprised how much sexier you look in a photo where you are doing these things. Remember your Mom has told you many times… “No one likes a slouch!” Try practicing in the mirror. Also, if you think you are carrying a few extra pounds, never take the photo from below looking upwards. Instead, try and get the camera slightly above the subject looking down towards them. This little trick can produce much more flattering photos.

If All Else Fails… Ask for Help!
Find a local couple on your swinger web site that has really great photos, and ask them if they would be interested in meeting you and doing some pictures together. There are few better icebreakers than taking sexy pictures together. As a matter of fact Mrs. Nibblers and I have been toying with hosting a photo party where we invite a bunch of sexy friends over with their sexiest outfits and props. Something about all those sexy people posing makes me think the party would probably lead to more than just pictures…

As both Mrs. Nibblers and I are extremely amateur photographers, I am sure we have left out a bunch of useful tips and tricks. If you have some good ideas or critiques on some of ours lets hear them in the comment section below.