Back in the dark ages, before Al Gore “invented” the internet, I was a young man serving in the US Navy. At that time, there was no e-mail, cell phones were only in cars, (I’m not THAT old), and I spent a lot of time at sea, far away from friends and family. Hand-written letters were the only means of communication throughout the vast majority of my Navy time.
Being a young man, with a young man’s appetites, I spent a great deal of time corresponding with female friends. Many of those missives were highly erotic in nature. However, being young and inexperienced, I was somewhat hesitant to write crude descriptions of what I wanted to do with them. It probably didn’t help that just before I had gone into the Navy, some of those female friends had discovered some of the more racy and well-written erotica, such as Anne Rice’s The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty series among others. Being a good friend, I was obligated to read it also so as to see what all the fuss was about.
I was a voracious reader anyway (still am!!) and that exposure coupled with my love of language and long hours to think, produced some extremely racy, (and in my 19 year old brain, tasteful) communiqué’s with the various female friends, one of whom was later destined to become my wife.
A finely crafted individualized erotic letter is a thing of beauty in and of itself, worthy of being savored and enjoyed again and again prior to the meeting of the participants.
The point to this history lesson is that I freely admit that I am a bit of a snob when it comes to erotica. I find much of the current crap available online to be inelegant, poorly written, and altogether unsatisfying. Most of it appears to have been written with one hand while the other is occupied. While I understand that self-pleasure is a goal of naughty letters, I believe the true objective is to get the reader into a heightened erotic state, whereupon the reader and the writer, especially in regards to letters written to and for a specific person, will culminate the experience by meeting each other in person and letting said eroticism work its will upon theirs.
In today’s world of mass and speedy communication, I feel that the true art of the erotic letter has been lost in the morass of TXT SPK OMG!, and one-line Tweets. I feel that something, that joyous anticipation that grows with every word written and later read, has been sacrificed for speed. A finely crafted individualized erotic letter is a thing of beauty in and of itself, worthy of being savored and enjoyed again and again prior to the meeting of the participants.
The problem per se, with erotic letters, is they are quite time and energy consuming to write. A proper naughty letter requires an almost trance-like state in which visualization and memory are used to first imagine, then enhance, elaborate upon, and finally record a scene in which rational thought is not the goal. Indeed, the whole experience to be depicted onto paper is supposed to be one of the deepest emotions, including irrational thought and behavior. This makes them difficult to spin off on the spur of the moment.
In the modern lifestyle dating scene of today, many profiles that I peruse talk about exchanging e-mails. So, in an attempt to revive the spirit of the naughty letter in the modern guise of an erotic e-mail, I humbly proffer these tips on creating them.
First, keep it short; No more than one written page. The idea is to heighten arousal and enhance eroticism, not re-write “War and Peace.” I recall a description I wrote of a party my wife and I held. I was trying to capture the entire night and it ended up being so long that when I re-read it a few weeks later even I was getting bored with the action. So, figure out the scene and keep it brief. Because it will be short, more care must be taken with word choice and sentence structure. This should be part of the fun.
Get to the point quickly. Starting in the middle of the action is fine. “It was a dark and stormy night” has its place; just not in this specific format. Instead, try: “Kneeling in front of you, I begin sliding my hands up your smooth thighs, lifting your dress as I do so, exposing you to the view of the others in the room,” which grabs the attention while not requiring a lot of set up. Part of the fun is leaving some of the scene to the reader’s imagination. Who else is there? What dress am I wearing? How did we get there? Let the reader fill in these details for themselves.
Innuendo and suggestion are your friend. While descriptive, “I wanna put my cock in you!” is not nearly as titillating as something like “I would desire nothing more than to slide myself into your wetness.” While they both express the same sentiment, one is obviously more elegant than the other. Vagueness is also a good thing. If exchanging an erotic e-mail with someone met online, you will likely not know a great deal about them. Trying to fill in a lot of detail in that case is counterproductive and distracting.
Avoid excessive dialogue. While moans and dirty talk whispered in the ear are very arousing in the heat of the moment, they are hard to transfer to the written word: “OH YEAH BABY, I LOVE IT!!!” just doesn’t work all that well on paper. Instead, use description and setting to convey your meaning: “The sounds of pleasure fill the air as I slide myself in and out of your warmth.” Again, let the reader fill in exactly what those sounds are. Some dialogue is okay, just be cautious with its use.
Nothing ruins the moment like a misspelled word in the middle of a hot scene.
Leave them hanging. Recall that the point of this whole exercise is to heighten the arousal and anticipation. If you finish the scene, those things are missing. Saying, “I roll off of you spent and head for the shower” isn’t very effective, but, “Looking up at you, I trace my lips with the tip of my tongue before closing them softly over your hardness” is better. Better still is: “As you savor the sensation of me tasting your wetness, you feel soft lips on yours…” Write it, save it, and look at it later. If it still works for you, send it off. If not, edit until it does. The idea of this is not to quickly spout something off for mass consumption, but to create an epistle for an individual for the specific purpose of heightening arousal. Just like foreplay, it takes some time.
Finally, spell and grammar check your work, please. Nothing ruins the moment like a misspelled word in the middle of a hot scene. While this is not meant as a comprehensive guide to writing in general, hopefully, these suggestions will steer you in the right direction for crafting an erotic e-mail that will serve its intended purpose. Remember, the goal of this is seduction via the written word. In that, it is no different from seduction with eye contact and body language at a gathering. In fact, it may help to think of the feelings and desires coursing through you the last time you were involved in a really good seduction, and channel them to the page. This will assist you with creating the mood and enhancing the moment. There is one last point I would suggest for you to keep in mind.
Writing, like anything else in life, takes practice. I would suggest that your partner is a good place to begin. Not only do you know them, know their likes and desires, you already are keenly aware of the feelings they cause in you. That is an excellent place to start and see what develops.
Have fun, and happy writing!
